A Physiology for Coping

      A Physiology for Coping

 Air comes In and Air flows Out
   Thinking words, I can not Shout
Pounding Heart, Tight wound Jaw
   The Memories you never Saw
Creeping into my Stream of Life
  Flooded nerves of Misplaced Strife
Adrenaline without the Show
  Pain like This, too Deep to Know
It is Pressure for a Vein to Drain
  and Sanity will so Remain..
...
   ...
     ..My Sanity will so Remain..
~S.F.

Descriptions of Home

   Beauty in the discord..
 Oh, precious imperfection
Prideless walls ..afford
to see my heart reflected
Tattered.. Worn.. Ignored
The poor house soul connected
  A humble truth restored
 No Vanity Accepted!
~S.F.

The Beginning and End

out of myself ..out in my soul
gravity gone into the forbidden untold
no science no glory
no name and no goal
No "I" left inside taking hold
only answers not questions
as if the physics unrolled
 a letterless power ,the wisdom of word
comprehending no hour.. one spirit astir
this is what was and what will be
forever unseen and forever unheard

~S.F.

I said in my head..

words on my breath, i type them instead
dreams are like dice we toss in our head

most of mine lost to the many bad bets
 debts to the soul marked paid with regrets

it doesn't matter how often I say what I said
contagious once written, infectious when read ..
no cure for my writing.. till readers are dead

~S.F.

Mornings

I wake up today, to find I'm still deep asleep
In a nightmarish life full of dreams I can't keep
~S.J. F~

The way it is.

     I am separate from society its true. I am just so prone to breaking illusions and society is one sacred illusion.. so.. fragile...That we are all trained for 18 years on how to strengthen it....threatened by punishment if we fail to maintain and to secure it .... but I can't seem to avoid breaking something everytime i go near it .. I must have missed the part on how to become one with the damn thing ... I guess and I am better off just staying away at this point.
    ~SF

My thoughts..

I know of a tunnel that i took in the day for a job I hated. I saw light at the end on the way to this job. I got off at night and  I saw darkness at the end of the tunnel which lead to home.. where I wanted to be. So what the hell do u want me to feel when you say "Remember there's always light at the end of the tunnel"... besides distaste..thinking,"ok this person is a moron who never looks at the full picture because there isn't always light and even when there is it isn't always good". I mean the point isn't whether it was meant to be taken literally or not. The point is that it is NOT  TRUE .. in any way, metaphorically or literally! It is an ideology that represents nothing ,helps nothing and isn't realistic. Why should a your false sense of reality be comforting or logical to me. This is a very simple but effective example of why I don't fit in with society.
I find the phrase- " Remember We are all just gonna end up dead anyways", to be much more comforting and honest simply because it is absolute. Lets get real here .. we are gonna die , there are more people dead than there are alive.. so now what achievement is there really. You might call this morbid.. or "not the way to look at it" but if the truth is-
 "not the way to look at it "
..then u might be living a lie ..and I might be on to something  that you will only understand when its to late.